New Year’s resolutions are often framed as hopeful and motivating. In reality, they frequently increase anxiety, shame, and self criticism. Many resolutions are built on rigid expectations, all or nothing thinking, and the belief that you need to become a different person in order to be worthy or successful.
When goals are rooted in pressure rather than values, they activate the nervous system’s threat response. This can show up as anxiety, avoidance, or a sense of failure when motivation dips. For people who already struggle with perfectionism or burnout, resolution culture can feel especially punishing.
An alternative approach is values based intention setting. Instead of asking, “What should I change about myself?” you might ask, “What do I want to feel more of this year?” or “What matters most to me right now?” These questions invite self awareness rather than self judgment.
Therapy can help you identify goals that align with your emotional capacity and current season of life. Sustainable change rarely comes from pushing harder. It comes from understanding your patterns, honoring your limits, and building trust with yourself.
If January has historically been a month of anxiety or disappointment around goals, it may be time to try something different.
If anxiety spikes every January, you are not alone. Therapy can help you create goals that support your well being rather than undermine it. Contact TheraHeal to begin working with a therapist who can support you through this process.